“Whether I like it or not, it is time for transition now. I have often wondered what the next chapter or milestone in my life will consist of, and it really feels like I have spent more time daydreaming like an adolescent than making forward steps towards my passions and dreams. Lately I feel I have sort of lost my pizzaz, my energy, and my drive to experience the thrill of life that I have often sought in the past. So here I am now, laying down a new roadmap and a new flight plan to my future aspirations.”
Reading my first post on this blog from 3 years ago is a screaming realization that this “transition period” was more like an era. I was stuck in monotony, I was imprisoned in a cycle of putting myself last, and I was buried in the words, “never again.” I apparently needed to make the same mistakes over and over before I could fully tear myself away from pieces of my life that I despised. It’s as if I wanted to have a large enough sample size of data to determine if I did, in fact, statistically and significantly hate something (p < 0.05). I was labeled a lot of things along the way, some great, and some bad. The friends, the love, and the lust – they came and went with the tides. But my perseverance is one constant that remained unsurpassed (along with the few motivators and mentors that never left my side). I wanted revolution, I wanted transformation, and I wanted to stop stressing.
Alas, almost 3 years later – I made the modifications and stopped making the mistakes. I packed my bags, and moved far from friends and family. Not out of spite or malice, but out of immense motivation and ambition from one my most cherished mentors. It’s almost like a fresh start, or an escape maybe, but it’s mostly a giant leap forward with a brilliant companion who has been rooting for me for over 10 years.
The desire to challenge myself is exponentially increasing and if during the past few years you’ve travelled with me, ran a race with me, or entertained my endless rants, then you’ve actively contributed to my transitioning and I owe you my sanity. I’m becoming more and more settled in my new home in Hawaii. It can be uncomfortable at times; this life is the polar opposite of my life beforehand. My earlier amateurish idea of the word “transition” was synonymous with the word “comfort”. But as the legendary quote says, “Change is never easy. You fight to hold on and you fight to let go.”
Now, I just need to figure out what to do with all my time that I used to spend stressing and wishing…